


lie low at lupin's

by lovelyflowersinherhair



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Lie Low At Lupin's (Harry Potter), M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29094603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyflowersinherhair/pseuds/lovelyflowersinherhair
Summary: It was hard for Sirius to be back, and Remus knew that. That didn't make their cohabitation any easier.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 6





	lie low at lupin's

**Author's Note:**

  * For [silverinerivers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverinerivers/gifts).



No one had bothered to ask Remus if he was okay with the Order’s haphazard plan to insist that Sirius ‘lay low at Lupin’s’, but he had kept his mouth shut when Dumbledore had put his foot down and insisted that it be done. He’d long since learnt that there was no use arguing with the man, not if he wanted anything vaguely positive to ever occur. Due to his affliction, Remus was forced to make compromises that went against his character simply to have food on the table and a warm place to sleep, even if having done so chafed at his entire being. A need for necessities -- including the potion that subdued his inner beast every month -- had often trumped his feelings on many subjects, including opening up his home for his criminally charged ex-boyfriend, and keeping his mouth shut about Harry’s living accommodations. 

Of course Remus disagreed with Dumbledore forcing Harry to live with the Dursleys, but he hadn’t seen much of an alternative, what with Sirius in Azkaban, Peter presumed to be dead, James and Lily  _ actually _ dead, and the Longbottoms as good as. Though there was prejudice in the Wizarding World against Muggles, the truth was that they accepted Harry Potter being raised by his Muggle relatives entirely more than they would have accepted Harry Potter being raised by a Werewolf, and he’d forced himself to accept that simple fact over the years. 

Sirius, however, seemed to find that simple fact to be either unacceptable, or completely eluding him. 

“I just don’t understand,” Sirius uttered, for what felt like the millionth time. Remus barely resisted the temptation to sigh out loud, simply out of a desire to avoid setting off his temper. Again. “James and Lily would have done anything for you! If you’d been the one who died, they would have taken in your child and raised him as their own, and you just leave him to rot under the stairs in a bloody cupboard? Why? Because it was easier for you?” 

“It had nothing to do with what was easy for me,” he interjected, as he did his best to keep his aggravation from bubbling to the surface. He reminded himself that life hadn’t been easy for Sirius, and that the decade plus he’d spent in Azkaban had done a number on his psyche, as it would have anyone’s. Sometimes, he got a glimpse of the real Sirius, but it wasn’t often. No matter how hard he’d tried, the fleeting moments would come and go, without any hint of permanence. “Do you think that I enjoy hearing about what Petunia and Vernon do to Harry? Do you think that I like hearing about how terribly they treat him, how they end up abusing both him and his cousin as a result?” He drew in a deep breath. “Of course I don’t. What I don’t understand is why you think that I had a choice in the matter.” 

“You could have stepped in!”   
  


He shook his head. “I was tainted by my relationship with you,” he said after a moment. “If I’d merely been a Wizard whose boyfriend had gone down the wrong path, I might have had a chance. Petunia wrote me, asking me to,” he admitted. “I went to Dumbledore, and asked if there was a possibility that I could take Harry on myself. At first he spouted some utterly daffy nonsense about blood wards, and family ties.” He openly rolled his eyes. “It was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard. Some days, I’d swear he makes things up as he goes. As if he’d be so daft as to use blood wards in a bloody Muggle neighborhood.” 

“His idea of watching Harry is to leave him in sight of a Squib!” 

Sirius’s interjection gave Remus pause, but he refused to consider the thought that such negligence would lead to Dumbledore being so overtly negligent. While he thought that Arabella Figg was a lovely woman, the truth was Remus was dubious that she was capable of properly caring for Harry, or the Muggles, for that matter. What if some sort of attack occurred? 

He drew in a deep breath, and vowed to bring up the subject matter at the next Order meeting. 

“Arabella is a lovely woman, Sirius, surely you don’t hold your family’s prejudices against her?” 

Sirius gave him a hardened gaze. “It’s got nothing to do with that,” he insisted, his tone gruff. “I just don’t understand why you couldn’t take him! You knew I was innocent!” 

“I couldn’t take him because I’m a Werewolf!” Remus exclaimed, letting his temper get the best of him before he entirely knew what he was doing. “Maybe it would have been possible if Lily and James had died in the car crash Harry was taught they died in. I could have gone through Muggle channels, and Dumbledore would have been none the wiser.” He waved his hand. “You wouldn’t have been imprisoned! Does it ever occur to you that he might have done something to keep you there?” 

“Don’t be daft--”

“I’m not ‘being daft’,” he informed him. “God only knows what he’s capable of, or why he’s capable of doing it. Why’s he having you stay here instead of finding some way to clear your name? He’s Dumbledore, isn’t he? If he really cared, Sirius, he’d have found some way to solve all of this, and not have let it get to this point. All he’s doing is pretending that he cares so that he looks good to Harry.” 

Maybe it wasn’t Sirius that he was annoyed at, Remus thought to himself. Maybe he was annoyed at Dumbledore’s behaviour, but taking it out on him because of broken hearts and shattered dreams? It was possible, he realised. More aptly, it was probable. Dumbledore wanted them to go absolutely out of their minds and turn on each other, whilst pretending that they were helping Harry with his problems, and they’d both fallen into his trap. 

“I hated you,” he continued, his shoulders slumped. “For the longest time. I hated you for everything that I thought you’d done, that I’d been told you’d done, and I never bloody questioned it.” He scrubbed his hand across his face. “Never suspected Peter, that bloody wanker, even though I ought to have, given that he was a rat in more ways than one. I shouldn’t have done that.” 

“I don’t blame you.” 

  
He looked up. Sirius looked to be sincere. “What?” 

“I mean, I don’t blame you, for hating me, or whatever,” he muttered. “Or for what happened with Harry, I mean, maybe you’re right. Maybe your furry little problem is still a dealbreaker. It never was for me.” 

“Maybe?” He gestured at the room they were in. At the place they were forced to call home. “Look at where we live. Do you think the Order would let  _ anyone _ else live like this? Even Mundungus? No,” he added, answering his own question. “But, because I’m me, and I have my ‘furry little problem’...” 

“They think it’s okay to put you up in a shack?” 

“Of course,” he said. “I had no issues with that at school, so why should I have issues now?”

“You were only there once a month!” 

“I know that,” he sighed. “Not to mention, it’s clear to me that the Order considers you to be an imposition -- you’re not,” he assured him. “At least, not to me. Not to Harry, either.” 

“Only until he realises how screwed up I am.” 

Another sigh. “You need to see a mind healer,” he muttered. “Both you, and Harry, need to see mind healers. In order to do that, you need to be cleared.” 

“Dumbledore said I can’t be!” He protested. “Peter’s gone.” 

“Dumbledore is a moron,” Remus muttered. “Peter is gone, yes, but there are other things that can be done. That will be done.” 

  
  



End file.
